Tuesday with Tiff: 12-Year-Old Sings National Anthem (And What the Church Can Learn From it)

With millions of people watching world-wide, a 12-year-old girl named Julia Dale, recently sang the national anthem at the NBA championship game.

Normally at a game of this magnitude, a famous adult singer would have been chosen.  But not this time.  This time, it was a 4 ft. 3 in. little girl stepping into the spotlight.

There is much the church can learn from this.

God has given children gifts...and they can use them now.  Yes, kids have gifts.  And they don't have to wait until they are adults to use them.  In fact, now is the time to help them begin to discover and cultivate the gifts God has given them. 

Children are not just the church of tomorrow.  They are the church of today.  There is no "Jr. Holy Spirit."  Kids are just as much a part of the church as adults are.  A healthy church family is made up of grandparents, parents, and children.

God can use children in amazing ways.  Throughout the Bible, we see God using children.  Samuel, Naaman's handmaid, the children praising Jesus in the temple, David, and the boy with five loaves and two fish are just a few examples.  God wants to use children today as well.  He's just waiting for us to give them the opportunity. 

Children can lead the way.  I have seen children lead the way in giving, serving, prayer, and more.  I have seen God use children to bring an entire family to Christ.

But how many times do we tell children to "sit still and be quiet?"  And then we wonder why they are "sitting still and being quiet" when they become adults.  It's time we empower kids to lead.

Involve children in the life of the church now if you want them to be in the church when they are adults.  We've all seen the stats of how many kids drop out of church when they graduate from high school.

Could it be because they never felt connected to the church body as a whole?  Could it be because we isolate them as children and students?  And when they graduate they can't relate to the rest of the church and drop out?  We must find ways to involve and include them in the entire life of the church.

Tuesday with Tiff: 7 Behaviors KidMin Leaders Must Avoid

Being a know-it-all.  When you begin to think you know it all...you're in trouble and your growth will stagnate.  Remain teachable.  Great leaders are always in school.  Learn from everyone...all the time.

Being condescending.  No one likes to be talked down to.  Treat everyone the same.  Make every person you talk to feel important.  See a "10" on everyone's forehead.

Not listening.  Be approachable.  When people are talking to you, look at them, not past them.  Led with great questions instead of answers.

Being defensive.  Hold the ministry with open hands.  Detach yourself from your ideas.  Just let them be ideas.  Be open to feedback.  In fact, seek it out.

Micromanaging.  Equip and empower leaders and then let them lead.  Let go of your control issues.

Whining.  Stay positive.  Focus on what you have, not on what you don't have.  A whiner brings problems and challenges to the table.  A leader brings problems and challenges to the table along with possible answers and solutions.

Building my kingdom.  Be a team player.  Reach out to and collaborate with other ministries in your church.  Don't see them as competition but as partners.  Look beyond your ministry and see the big picture of the church.

We always want to be growing... a leader is anyone who has influence over others--- we're ALL leaders! Steer clear of the behaviors above and you're on your way to making a GREAT difference in the Greenhouse!

10 Phrases You Should Never Say in Kid's Ministry

"We've never done it that way before."

"Let's require parents to serve."  Instead: Let's share vision and our love for serving, invite and pray for the workers.

"They won't notice...they're just kids." Instead: Let's serve them with excellence. They're depending on us.

"Are you a visitor?" Instead: It's so great having you here today! Remind me of your name.

"No one wants to volunteer." Instead: Everyone has to give into the gentle nudge of God to step out and serve. Many are waiting to be asked and to find their sweet spot.

"You've been in the church a long time and I know you.  You can serve without having a background check." Instead: We want to be a safe place and we have to protect our kids.

"You lost your security tag?  That's okay, go ahead.  We'll let you through without it." Instead: Everyone must have their tags on and parents must have their tags to pick up their kids.

"I don't know...I'm just a volunteer...ask a staff member." Instead: Take ownership of the ministry you serve in. Represent it well and answer and lead as well as you can but direct them to someone else if you are unsure.

"Your child acted bad in class today.  You need to get control of him." Instead: When the parent comes, tell them that there were some issues today with xyz. This is how we dealt with it. But he was very good with xyz. Can't wait to have him back next week!

"There's too much going on to take any time off." Instead: You are a valuable team member and we appreciate and depend on you. But we know you invest consistently and we know that life happens. Ministry will continue for a service or 2 without you. But know that we and the kids will miss you greatly because of the relationships we have formed.

Which of these do you agree or not agree with?  What other phrases should we never say in Children's Ministry?

Why You Should Talk to Kids like Adults

Why do we talk down to kids?  I think we forget they are people. 

I have found that the best way to communicate with a child is to talk with him or her just like I would an adult.  Kids respond better to this than using "baby talk."  

This even works with preschoolers.  This past weekend, I was brought a 4 year old who "didn't want to stay in class."  I sat down with him and asked him point blank, "Are you a big kid?"  

He quickly answered "yes."  I then said, "You're not a baby.  You're a big kid.  Why don't you act your age and go into your class with the other big kids."

It clicked and he went into the room.  If I had babied him, I think the opposite would have happened.  

Of course, I am not talking about using big words or ever being harsh or unkind.  Our words should always be spoken with love and care.

The bottom line is this:  Treat kids with honor and respect.  Reflect this in your tone of voice and words and they will respond.