Making your Words Count with Young Children

Making Your Words Count with Young Children

Imagine that you are standing among giants who constantly mumble words you don’t understand. That’s a great deal what it’s like to be a young child in a crowd of talking adults! Although we may talk at children, we find that unless we know how to talk effectively with them, they seldom hear or respond. We need to talk so that they can understand!

First, follow Jesus’s example. Remember that little children need far more action than talk. When Jesus was around little children, He loved them; He didn’t lecture them. Actions say more than words ever could. Young children often don’t understand the meaning of all our words; our body language, facial expression and tone of voice contain most of the meaning they grasp.

How to Talk Effectively

• First put yourself at the child's eye level. Squat, kneel or sit.
• Look into the child’s eyes, not only to get the child’s attention, but also to say “You’re important to me—I care about you.” Smile as you talk. Avoid wearing that pasted-on smile grown-ups sometimes wear around children. Children need to see genuine love, not a professional manner that wears a professional smile.
• As you converse, show a child the same respect you would show an adult. Don’t interrupt, put down or talk down to any child!
• Listen without passing judgment. Young children are in the process of making words work to put across their ideas. They may tell things that they imagine as if they were real. If Sean tells about his dog and you know he has no pets, say, “Sean, I bet you wish you had a dog. What kind of dog do you like?”
• Use the child’s name often. A child may well assume you are not talking to him or her unless you use the child’s name!
• Give a kind touch on the shoulder to express your love as you talk.
• Use these words frequently: “please,” “I’m sorry,” “that’s all right,” “thank you.”
• Use these phrases often: “I see you…,” “I like the way you…,” “I need for you to…,” “It’s time to…,”
• If you don’t understand a child’s words, don’t pretend you do. Instead, patiently ask the child to tell you again. If you still don’t understand, invite another child to listen and help you. If you don’t understand at all, say, “I’m sorry. I still can’t understand, Ryan. Here. Maybe you could draw me a picture of what you want.” Or you could say, “I guess my listening ears aren’t working too well today! Let’s try again in a minute.” Be sure the child knows he or she is important to you, whether or not you understand the words.
• Be quick to see and point out what is good. “I see you sharing with Josiah, Kade. Sharing is a way to obey God’s Word. Thank you.” You’ve related the action to the Bible and helped both children better understand what sharing looks like.
• When a child refuses to cooperate, give a choice. This creates a new focus and puts responsibility for behavior back on the child. “Nathan, it’s time to do something else. Would you like to play with blocks or glue pictures at the art table?” Offer choices that are perfectly acceptable to you. Don’t offer more than two or three choices. Too many choices can overwhelm a young child.

Remember that whenever you talk with a child, you can in some way communicate God’s love to him or her. Use the opportunity!