Tuesday with Tiff: Asking the Right Questions

The art of a good discussion begins by asking effective questions. Most often, the best questions will not occur to you during a discussion but will result from good preparation. Take the time for thorough lesson preparation and for planning good questions. The best teachers continue to evaluate and refine their question-asking skills, even after years of service. Basic Preparation Master the material. The teacher needs to know more about the lesson than what the child is expected to learn. Although the youngest children will have simple lessons, some teachers may find that their own Bible knowledge is less than that of their older children!  If a concept presented in your lesson material is confusing or difficult to understand, ask your leader or the pastor for help. As you participate in adult Bible studies and personal Bible study, you will find that your knowledge and understanding will grow. In class, never be afraid to let a child know that you don’t know the answer to a question. After class, look for the answer and share it with the child and others in the next class meeting. Avoid yes and no questions. These kinds of questions provide little learning and little interest for the child and only reinforce what a child already knows. Yes and no questions do little to encourage discussion and, in fact, may inhibit discussion if children are worried about giving wrong answers. Start where the children are starting. Try to gauge where the children are in their knowledge. Many children in church today come from unchurched families and are unfamiliar with the Bible and church traditions. They may not know that the Bible is divided into the Old and New Testaments. In seeker classes, start with the basics and do not assume what the children know. Another challenge can be children with sporadic church attendance. They may be playing “continual catch-up” for the weeks missed. The challenge is to keep the interest of the more knowledgeable children while also meeting the needs of the beginners. Developing Questions Understanding the different types of questions can help a teacher ask the best questions for the lesson and the children. Knowledge questions. These are questions that recall information and recite facts: What are the names of the 12 disciples? In what city was Jesus born? What cities did Paul travel to? Children are familiar with this type of question from weekday school. These questions may test what the child knows, but they do not stimulate discussion. Comprehension questions. These questions help children interpret their knowledge. Such questions ask the child to describe, explain, retell or identify. Some examples: What else could the father have chosen to do when he saw his son coming down the road? Why do you think Noah obeyed God’s command to build an ark? These questions help the child move beyond just knowing the information to understanding it. Comprehension questions have no right or wrong answers, so a child can feel comfortable expressing his or her ideas. Application questions. Bible knowledge reaches a new level when the child can apply it to his or her own life. Application questions help the child to make the lesson personal and to use the information in a new setting. These questions ask the child to apply, experiment, show, solve and describe. Questions such as What are some ways God provides for you? How can you follow Paul’s example in telling others about Jesus? What are some ways we can be good stewards of the things we own? These questions move beyond “head knowledge” and into “heart knowledge.”

Making your Words Count with Young Children

Making Your Words Count with Young Children

Imagine that you are standing among giants who constantly mumble words you don’t understand. That’s a great deal what it’s like to be a young child in a crowd of talking adults! Although we may talk at children, we find that unless we know how to talk effectively with them, they seldom hear or respond. We need to talk so that they can understand!

First, follow Jesus’s example. Remember that little children need far more action than talk. When Jesus was around little children, He loved them; He didn’t lecture them. Actions say more than words ever could. Young children often don’t understand the meaning of all our words; our body language, facial expression and tone of voice contain most of the meaning they grasp.

How to Talk Effectively

• First put yourself at the child's eye level. Squat, kneel or sit.
• Look into the child’s eyes, not only to get the child’s attention, but also to say “You’re important to me—I care about you.” Smile as you talk. Avoid wearing that pasted-on smile grown-ups sometimes wear around children. Children need to see genuine love, not a professional manner that wears a professional smile.
• As you converse, show a child the same respect you would show an adult. Don’t interrupt, put down or talk down to any child!
• Listen without passing judgment. Young children are in the process of making words work to put across their ideas. They may tell things that they imagine as if they were real. If Sean tells about his dog and you know he has no pets, say, “Sean, I bet you wish you had a dog. What kind of dog do you like?”
• Use the child’s name often. A child may well assume you are not talking to him or her unless you use the child’s name!
• Give a kind touch on the shoulder to express your love as you talk.
• Use these words frequently: “please,” “I’m sorry,” “that’s all right,” “thank you.”
• Use these phrases often: “I see you…,” “I like the way you…,” “I need for you to…,” “It’s time to…,”
• If you don’t understand a child’s words, don’t pretend you do. Instead, patiently ask the child to tell you again. If you still don’t understand, invite another child to listen and help you. If you don’t understand at all, say, “I’m sorry. I still can’t understand, Ryan. Here. Maybe you could draw me a picture of what you want.” Or you could say, “I guess my listening ears aren’t working too well today! Let’s try again in a minute.” Be sure the child knows he or she is important to you, whether or not you understand the words.
• Be quick to see and point out what is good. “I see you sharing with Josiah, Kade. Sharing is a way to obey God’s Word. Thank you.” You’ve related the action to the Bible and helped both children better understand what sharing looks like.
• When a child refuses to cooperate, give a choice. This creates a new focus and puts responsibility for behavior back on the child. “Nathan, it’s time to do something else. Would you like to play with blocks or glue pictures at the art table?” Offer choices that are perfectly acceptable to you. Don’t offer more than two or three choices. Too many choices can overwhelm a young child.

Remember that whenever you talk with a child, you can in some way communicate God’s love to him or her. Use the opportunity!

What I Wish All My Team Members Knew...

Dear Team members,

Last Sunday, I spent some time with a fun bunch of toddlers.

We sang silly songs with funny dance moves and worship songs with cool props.

We prayed together and heard some stories.

We built a tall tower with blocks and I drank some tea with my pinky up.

And in the midst of all the fun I repeatedly "made conversation" about discovering God's love.

It was crazy.

It was loud.

It was filled with silly questions... one about an elephant. 

And there were times I wasn’t sure who had control… me or them as we played kitchen.

Every time I step into a role in this ministry, I’m reminded of this simple truth…

Your time is valuable.

You want to invest your time well.

And so do I.

Spending the hours in kidmin the way we do, I can see how it can ‘feel’ more like play and not really serious discipleship work.

But would you believe me if I told you, the time you invest in teaching kids…

…telling them a Bible story…

…playing a game…

…reciting a bible verse…

…is far more than just filling a need for an hour?

What if I told you the gifts God gave to you, He will faithfully use to touch a child’s life?

That you’re living out what Christ taught in the Parable of the Talents.

You are one of the faithful servants.

What if I told you the outcome is greater than the inconvenience?

That the attention you provide earns you instant hero-ship.

That God can multiply the time you give up.

What if I told you your own faith can be stretched and strengthened if you allow it?

That what you teach further embeds itself in your own heart.

And become areas the Holy Spirit fleshes out in your own life.

It would certainly be easier to take what God’s put in you and bury it in a busy weekend schedule of activities.

Instead you choose to stretch yourself by taking what God’s put in you and invest it in a group of kids.

Words are not enough.

Thank you

Tuesday with Tiff: 5 Ways to Keep your Ministry on Fire

In light of the IN CASE OF FIRE series that the church is currently in, it got me thinking, sure we need to know what to do if there's a physical fire but there's a fire that I want to have.. that I want to BURN!


The natural tendency of fire is to burn out. To keep a fire going, you have to fuel the flame. Ministry is the same way. You have to fuel your ministry if you want it to stay fired up. Here are 5 ways to keep your ministry on fire.

Share the stories of life change. When you get together, take time to share the stories of people who have been impacted. Every Tuesday when our staff gets together we take time to do this. We leave fired up about what God is doing. God is at work in your ministry. Make sure you take time to celebrate and reflect on the victories.

Constantly bring in new volunteers. New volunteers bring new energy, excitement, and passion. Do you have long term volunteers who are losing momentum? One of the best things you can do to encourage them is to place a new volunteer by their side. Every time we have new volunteers walk into our ministry, I can sense the ministry fire being fueled.

Guard unity. Unity is a deciding factor for keeping your ministry on fire. Nothing will put out a ministry fire quicker than disunity. If you've ever been through a church split, you know what I'm talking about. Unity doesn't mean you totally agree on everything. But what it does mean is there is open, direct, loving, mature communication when issues or disagreements arise. And once a decision is made, everyone locks arms and moves forward. Don't tolerate divisiveness, gossip, or bad attitudes. When there is unity, the fire of God's Spirit will rest upon your ministry.

Be a thermostat instead of a thermometer. As the leader, you must set the spiritual temperature instead of simply reflecting it. You must stay fired up yourself if want to see the ministry on fire. Fuel your spiritual fire by staying in love with Jesus and feeding your soul. Lead the way.

Keep sharing the vision. A vision that is not fueled will go out. People want to be a part of something bigger than themselves. But they will forget they are part of something bigger than themselves...if you don't remind them. Constantly remind people WHY they are doing what they are doing. State the vision clearly...over and over and over.

What are some other things you do to keep your ministry on fire?
As a leader, what are some things you do to personally stay on fire?
What are some other things we have to guard against that will put out the fire?

Would enjoy seeing your thoughts in the comment section below.

Tuesday with Tiff: 3 Reasons I Should Not Be Teaching Kids

This is why I do not commit to teaching a children's class week to week.

As a children’s pastor, I love kids! I hope you do to. I love seeing them come to an understanding of scripture and the principles we are trying to communicate to them. And I love teaching them those principles.

But I came to a realization – I should not be the one teaching them those principles, or at least not on a week to week basis. Why? Well, it’s not about the teaching part, it’s about leadership. In fact, I DO encourage myself to teach the kids, I just don’t commit to a single class on a week to week basis.

Here’s why:
1. My role is primarily about adults, not kids. I should be primarily about connecting with staff, core leaders, team members and parents. And the larger the church, the more imperative this becomes. In my opinion, about 85% or more of my time should be spent in adult focused communication.

2. My role is about equipping others. As church leaders, Ephesians 4:12 is pretty clear about what our job is – to equip others to do the work of the ministry. If I am assuming the primary teaching role on a week to week basis, is the equipping part really happening?

3. My role is primarily about leading. If I tie myself up during a full service time on the weekend (and in many cases I’ve seen the children’s pastor tied up teaching during every service time), it limits my ability to lead effectively when my followers are actually there with me. So doing things like solving problems, making the necessary connections, evaluating ministry, etc., simply can’t happen very well.

What I recommend to children’s pastors, when it comes to teaching, is to rotate through all areas of your ministry. Every church is different when it comes to scheduling, but I will be in all the different areas at least once per quarter without committing to any single area each week. This will also allow me to model the vision in a hands on way. This allows myself the freedom to do the 3 things mentioned above. It also gives me another very important benefit – being in front of ALL the kids, not just a single age group. It accomplishes everything I should be accomplishing as a children’s pastor.

I love you all and it's an honor leading you.
Pastor Tiffany