Relationships: Building Trust in the classroom

 

Imparting information is only part of what the effective teacher accomplishes in Children’s Ministry. Establishing an atmosphere of trust and love that makes the child want to return is just as important. Why do children gather at church instead of learning about God from a book or a video? Because only in a communal setting can children and teachers build the Body of Christ and form friendships that last for years. Some adults who grew up in a church fondly remember the church teacher or camp counselor who made them feel valued.

Let’s take a look at the first kind of relationship that needs trust in order for any Children’s Ministry to thrive—Teacher-Child Relationships.

Trust. As the teacher, you have the opportunity to be someone whom children can count on to be present on more than an occasional basis. Children need to feel that they can talk to you in confidence and without ridicule or criticism. Children expect that what you present in class is accurate and useful.

Attitude. Children like teachers who are positive, upbeat, confident, cheerful, friendly and willing to help. Leave your personal problems at home and give children your undivided attention.

Fun. As responsibilities set in, adults tend to become serious and preoccupied. While the subject matter you present in class is serious in nature, the atmosphere of the class doesn’t have to be dreary! This doesn’t mean that you have to act silly or let chaos reign in the classroom. It means that you can enjoy games with your children, find joy in their discoveries and maintain a happy classroom environment.

Acceptance of feelings. Listen and empathize with the feelings of the children in your class. Children respond to situations with emotions rather than rational logic. Their reactions may seem childish because they have not learned how to control their feelings or how to think through situations. While you need not agree with everything a child says, you can be a sounding board and a sympathetic ear.

Acceptance of ideas. Adults are often self-critical and self-censoring. Children are freer to express wild and crazy ideas. Encourage children to think out loud and ask questions. Children are more involved in learning when they feel that their ideas are accepted. One way to encourage brainstorming is to ask open-ended questions about opinions instead of facts (“How did the lame man feel when he could walk again?” “How do you think David felt when he heard King Saul’s threat to hurt him?”). Questions with more than one right answer are less threatening to children because they don’t feel that they will make mistakes in their answers.

Enabling questions. Allow children to make choices instead of telling the child what to do. Instead of saying “Put the paint back in the cabinet,” ask, “Where do we put the paint?” Ask children what phrases or slogans best summarize the lesson’s Bible truth. Children like to feel they have an important role in the classroom.

Praise and affirmation. Every child wants to feel like the most special child in the world. Compliment and encourage children frequently, mentioning specific actions you have observed. The more children feel valued, the more they want to participate in learning and feel that God accepts them.

Nonverbal signs. Use body language to show acceptance. Sit at the children’s eye level and avoid hovering over them. Nod and lean forward when a child is speaking. Smile frequently!

Now we’ll look at another relationship that is just as important—Child-Child Relationships.

Trust and Security. In many churches, children don’t know each other. They go to different schools during the week and may live in distant parts of the city. The children won’t automatically get to know each other, much less develop relationships of trust. Start by having children learn their peers’ names (name games are fun) and something about each other (pets, hobbies, siblings, sports, favorite performers or TV shows). Maintain a safe place where children won’t be hurt and their belongings won’t be stolen.

Group Activities. A good way to develop friendships is through group work. Children bond when they have a common goal or problem to solve. Have children work in pairs, trios and small groups using worksheets, skits, music, games, research projects and cooperative art projects. Be sure each person in the group has a task and is not left out. One person from each group can share the group’s discovery or project with the rest of the class. Acknowledge the contributions of each child.

Sharing. Children learn about each other by sharing their heritage and interests. Invite children to demonstrate music, food or artwork from their home life. Children also enjoy bringing an item from home with spiritual importance in their family (heirloom Bible, gift cross, Scripture sampler, devotional book, etc.).

Prayer. During class prayer time, encourage children to pray for each other. This may be uncomfortable or threatening at first. Model sentence prayers for children to hear and imitate. As children feel comfortable in telling things for which they are thankful and/or their concerns, invite other children to pray for them. Children can say together, “Thank You, God,” when someone describes something for which he or she is thankful.

 

These are just a few of the ways to make sure that trust is established between the teachers and children in your Children’s Ministry. --from Children's Ministry Magazine.