Wednesday, July 18, 2012 by Craig in Kidmin
I love to keep busy. I feel guilty if I am not doing something. I’m a driven, type A, only child. Give me something to do or else I’ll create something to do. Rest is not only hard for me, but it also feels impossible.
Here’s an interesting scenario that I encounter frequently. When I see someone I haven’t seen in a while, I usually ask a question and, in turn, I usually get the same question volleyed back to me. That question is, “How are you doing?” The typical response is, “Great. Busy. How about you?” For some reason, we not only like to keep busy, but we also like to tell others about it.
The reason I give the “I’m busy” answer is to validate how hard a worker I am. I mean, I’m not a slacker! In some way, I’ve connected my self-esteem to how much work and how much I can “output” on a daily basis. I feel more important when I am busy. I feel like I can better justify my existence. I also feel that if I am busier than the next person, have more projects on the table, I am more successful in others’ eyes. Sick, I know, but true.
The other day I went mindfully into a conversation with someone I hadn’t seen in a long time. I knew the question would come up in the first five minutes, and it did. The first person I ran into said, “Hey, Craig, how you doing?” And then he put the busy question right on a tee for me. “You been busy?” I could feel a strong desire to say, “Shoot, I have been so busy lately it’s not even funny,” but I didn’t. I fought every emotional piece of energy in my mind and body, took a deep breath and said, “No, not real busy . . . trying to be more balanced.”
Time stopped, the matrix was on. The other person didn’t know how to respond. We were both in uncharted water. Now what? Usually this was all preprogrammed. I had violated the first unwritten rule of I-haven’t-seen-you-in-a-while-what-have-you-been-up-to etiquette. The response I received back was, “Oh, good for you,” and then he walked away, and I stood there an emotional basket case. If only I could have said, “Busy, How About You?” Then things would have been great. I guess I’m still learning, so, How are you doing?
Here’s an interesting scenario that I encounter frequently. When I see someone I haven’t seen in a while, I usually ask a question and, in turn, I usually get the same question volleyed back to me. That question is, “How are you doing?” The typical response is, “Great. Busy. How about you?” For some reason, we not only like to keep busy, but we also like to tell others about it.
The reason I give the “I’m busy” answer is to validate how hard a worker I am. I mean, I’m not a slacker! In some way, I’ve connected my self-esteem to how much work and how much I can “output” on a daily basis. I feel more important when I am busy. I feel like I can better justify my existence. I also feel that if I am busier than the next person, have more projects on the table, I am more successful in others’ eyes. Sick, I know, but true.
The other day I went mindfully into a conversation with someone I hadn’t seen in a long time. I knew the question would come up in the first five minutes, and it did. The first person I ran into said, “Hey, Craig, how you doing?” And then he put the busy question right on a tee for me. “You been busy?” I could feel a strong desire to say, “Shoot, I have been so busy lately it’s not even funny,” but I didn’t. I fought every emotional piece of energy in my mind and body, took a deep breath and said, “No, not real busy . . . trying to be more balanced.”
Time stopped, the matrix was on. The other person didn’t know how to respond. We were both in uncharted water. Now what? Usually this was all preprogrammed. I had violated the first unwritten rule of I-haven’t-seen-you-in-a-while-what-have-you-been-up-to etiquette. The response I received back was, “Oh, good for you,” and then he walked away, and I stood there an emotional basket case. If only I could have said, “Busy, How About You?” Then things would have been great. I guess I’m still learning, so, How are you doing?
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